[alinaforest35936]

We moved to Madrid eight months ago. My spouse loves it: food, weather, walking, culture, slower pace. I miss Toronto every day. I miss my friends, my job network, familiar systems, and feeling competent. When I say this, my spouse gets defensive because the move was supposed to be good for us. Can one partner love Madrid while the other struggles?

[simonsilver91604]

Yes, and you need to stop turning every emotion into a referendum on the move. My husband loved Madrid immediately. I grieved for almost a year. Both were true. What helped was giving my grief a place: weekly calls with friends, solo routines, Spanish class, and one trip home planned in advance. I did not need my husband to dislike Madrid. I needed him to stop arguing me out of missing home.

[martasunset47109]

The defensive spouse usually feels guilty. Talk about guilt separately from logistics.

[alinamaple62270]

I loved Madrid after month fourteen. Before that, I was mostly pretending.

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